I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
