I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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