So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
