You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
