Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
NoShamevember. You game?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
