the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
