I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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