I'm really into asian looking animals
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
