Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
