i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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