My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
