So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
