You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
