I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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