i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
