Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
