I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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