just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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