She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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