why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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