the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
