last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
