isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
