dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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