Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
