he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
