turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
