Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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