She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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