I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
