what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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