I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
its not stalking. its research.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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