I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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