her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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