would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
