Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
