If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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