I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
