all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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