i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
