I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
