I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
