nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
