she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's blow job season.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
