My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
