I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
