Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
