Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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