You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
