Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
