It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
